Hills watchers from last season must wonder what’s up with this new sobered-up Justin Bobby. Speaking in full sentences? (Relatively) clean-shaven? Showering? I sense a shower at least every three episodes. So what happened to the burping, shoulder-shrugging lothario who kissed the nearest goth hooch in front of Audrina? Audrina used to flash us thong as Justin’s motorcycle rode into the sunset (or his nearby STD-gifting lair, whichever you prefer). Now we’re being treated to these Suzy Homemaker domestic breakfast scenes in the kitchen where Justin talks about Audrina’s feelings while she makes him eggs. Huh?

Audrina at one point this season commented on the new Justin Bobby, mentioning how he’s “sober now.” Hmm. We’re scouring the internet for news about Justin checking out of rehab, but aren’t getting much further than these doofy modeling photos from People’s Republic that everyone seems to want to post. Got any dirt? Email me at czappia@slingmedia.com. First to email in gets a faux used Audrina thong. If you close your eyes you can pretend it once rode on JB’s motorcycle of skank. Below, a look back at the old Justin Bobby’s greatest hits: