The new season of American Gladiators premiered last night and fans might have noticed a switching up of the meaty cast. To sum up: Gladiators Stealth, Fury, and Mayhem are gone. We will miss Mayhem the most, if only because he says his real age is 44 but his “Hollywood Age” is 34. Replacing them are new pink-haired gladiator Phoenix and the winners from last year: Evan “Rocket” Dollard, who would resemble a strapping college quarterback but in Gladiator Land is kind of a Steve Urkel; and smokingly hot former Portland Trailblazers dancer Monica “Jet” Carlson, who we learned today is not only extremely cut but half a foot taller than us. And weighs the same. We give the skank one season.
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